Whatever happened to zig zags!?

Today we went for a walk up a local mountain. Simmering, 2096m (6876 ft). Only 8 miles but 4,100 feet (1250m) of ascent and subsequent descent.

Are we there yet?

Normally we moan about the zigs and the consequent zags on such a climb but we won’t be doing that again I can assure you. Why? Because this jolly jaunt demonstrated all too clearly what a plumb line ascent is like. Hard is what it’s like.

Anyway, walk schmalk (??) What I really wanted to discuss today was my reinvention of that old Italian classic; spaghetti bolognese (Shocking. 55 years old and I only just learned how to spell bolognaise, bolonayse, bolloc tomato sauce).

It all started with the realisation that we were hungry. Very hungry. And we needed to eat, now! However, we had a limited larder. This led to Mrs P, perhaps foolishly, handing all responsibility to Mr P.

Anyway, long and short of it. I reinvented spaghetti bolognese. I shall share this recipe with you but take no responsibility should you be foolish enough to actually try it.

Recipe:

Serves 2 (very hungry and non too picky people with iron constitutions)

Total cooking time: About 3 minutes

Instructions: Take 1 pack (or tin) of lentils in a tomato sauce and heat over a medium flame for about as long as it takes to add 2 packs of straight to wok noodles. Continue to heat while you open and add a small tin of mackerel in tomato sauce. Stir until it looks like something your dog would turn it’s nose up at.

Serve.

It looks a bit like spaghetti bolognese in the same way that a fish looks like a cow. It has a similar consistency and texture to said bolognese in the same way that mashed potato is like ice cube. And the taste? Well, what can I say… my mother would be proud. Colour? The usual; grey.

in my defence, we were hungry. Oddly, in some weird kind of praise of this recipe we did eat exactly the same thing 2 days in a row and on neither occasion were we drunk. Just VERY hungry.

I tried to take a photo but, in the same way that Count Dracula is just too evil to allow his image to be chemically recorded by means of light sensitive material so this meal refused all attempts at digital reproduction.

Gratuitous shot of Gandalf with his rain hat on

Tomorrow the weather may improve as may my cooking skills.

3 thoughts on “Whatever happened to zig zags!?

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